Happy new year 2014!

Don't know what my future will be!

Life sucks this year. My marriage is going down the drain. My husband doesn't think about the future like kids or buying a house. We are not getting any younger.We move our stuff back to his parents place. He said we will live there till his mom get back on her feet. I can't stand my mother in law. All she think about is money. It's been 4 yrs now and we still living there. Since I can't stand her I stay in bklyn at my childhood house.My father marry a crazy lady. I can't stand her either. She lazy and she a thief. Doesn't do anything in the house. She thinks she could laid her finger on me ha. Im a Brooklyn girl. I will kick your ass. She try in the summer she kick me in the back. I slam her against the wall. I told her it was a coward move. If you wanna fight me. Do it face to face. Since then she try to lock me out of the house. I told my husband we can't live like this. He said he doesn't wanna talk about it. I wanted to scream. I told him if this marriage is not working why don't we separated or get a divorce. He doesn't say anything. I don't believe in divorce. Smh don't know what the hell to do. He doesn't say anything. But he will tell you don't eat that you going to put on weight again. When I met him I was heavy then now. I gain so much weight since we been together. Begin of this year I cut out sugar drinks. I lost a lot of weight. He not skinny himself. He gain so much since we been together. He looks like he prego 5 months. I don't tell him he a fat ass. I think I should. Since i dont see my husband that often. I'm attracted to someone. My other problem is my brother he doesn't know when to grow up. He wants me to support him pay for his bills, etc. He got himself in trouble again and he might get lock up for more then a year now. I hope he learns when he get out. I'm not happy!! I do smile cause I have to. Do you fall out of love when you don't live together? Did I marry the wrong person? Did I rush into this marriage? Why am I attracted to someelse? What do I do now? Will my brother grow up? Will my future be better next year?

I always get blame for everything!

Last night I posted I having sleeping problems. I think I felled a sleep around 4am. I had to work in the family business. So I had to get up really early. Lucky I stay at my parents house. My dad was yelling this morning cause I didn't get up yet. Hello why are you yelling at me u always freaking late. So what if I'm late one day. I'm help you out cause your sons don't wanna help. One is in jail. The other one doesn't care cause he to busy studying. Your wife doesn't help cause she to busy gambling. If she does help she steal the money. I'm always the sucker! I think I have sucker written on my forehead!!

I can't fall a sleep!!

It's 3:24am I can't fall a sleep. Omfg I got to be at work soon. I got to get up at 6:30 to get ready for work. I'm doing a 10 hr shift. How am I going to get through the day. During the week I have the same problem. I would go to sleep around 12:30am for some reason I wake up at 4:30am. I have dark circle under my eyes/bags. I have to many problems in my life maybe I can't fall a sleep. I need sleep.

Definition to jerk

1. Jerk The kind of guy most girls ACTUALLY want when they say they want a Nice Guy. Jerks are selfish, manipulative bastards who see women as little more then sexual conquests to brag about to their buddies or mere objects that are there for their personal pleasure. As to ensure the post-sex breakup will be in their favor, Jerks often play the "sensative guy" early on so the girl will make most of the moves on HIM, and after he's done with her and dumps her for some other girl just like her, he can make it look like she's at fault for coming on too strong, and consequently she'll take him back if he chooses to return for seconds. Typically are/were Frat Boys, Jocks, and Preps in school. "Yeah, Billy's a real Jerk the way he used Tricia like that. Can't believe she bought his crap though." From urban dictionary Why am I attract to jerks?

Did you ever think you marry the wrong person?

Did you ever think you marry the wrong person? We not getting along. We always aruging about stupid things.We like different things these days. He hates NYC. He used to come to nyc when we were just dating. Now he doesnt come at all. We haven't been living together for over a couple years now. How does a marriage work. When you don't put any effort into it. Calling me a fat ass doesn't help.

Holidays

I hate when holidays comes up. You have to spend time with family members you don't like. Nothing open so you can't really escape to anywhere except manhattan. When holidays comes around its not the same anymore since my mom passed away. I didn't even bother going home cause I can't stand any of my inlaw. I stayed at my pops place. I'm stuck with his evil wife. The good part I get to play with my little brother!

Definition to playa

Definition to player or playa- informal a confident,successful man with many sexual partners. Urban definition-A male who uses women for sex or other favors usually by charming the girl. A lot of guys do this in order to be a "playa" cuz in our modern society it is(by idiotic dickheads) "cool" and "hip" to be labeled as a "playa".

Men

Men when you talk to them it goes into one ear and out the other. When they don't want to listen to you they ignore you. They say things to you in the beginning and then don't admit to it later. They always think they are right and women are wrong. 

Why do some Asians think they are white?

Why do some Asians people think they are white? Hello your skin color is yellow. You are not white! There this girl I know she half Chinese and Filipino. She acts white. When you ask her does she speak Chinese or Tagalog. She said no. Are you ashamed of what you are. I notice some Asians parents doesn't want there kids to speak Chinese cause they want there kids to fit in. They are stupid. It's good to know another language. The more you know the better. I try to learn more then one language. It's good cause you could used it for the future.

I should never help!

A friend ask me to help her look for a job. I put her resume in. She got the job. Now she thinks she all that at work. She think she better then you. I should never hook her with a job. You really don't know your friends until you work with them. I can't stand working with her. All she do is gossip at work. She wants to know all the gossip. If you don't tell her she gets pissed off. A lesson to be learn.

I feel like a sucker!

I feel like a sucker for texting you. To see how you are doing! You kind of answer the text. Then you ignore me. I just want to be friends. I don't like when people are mad or angry at me. I'm always a sucker. I think I got sucker written up on my forehead!!

mad

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. Phyllis Diller You can live your life angry, bitter, mad at somebody or even guilty, not letting go of your own mistakes, but you won't receive the good things God has in store. Joel Osteen If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad. Lord Byron Men are so necessarily mad, that not to be mad would amount to another form of madness. Blaise Pascal

I have so many problems's!!

I have so many problem. I'm not happy in my marriage. When we see each we always arguing about stupid things. We not getting along when we see each. I'm trying to fix it. He seems to ignore that we are having problems. When I mention I'm not happy. He said he knows but doesn't want to talk about it. He walk away. I met this guy I thought he's good looking. I'm attract this this guy. I was trying to avoided him in the begin. That didn't work. It's wrong I'm have feelings for someone else. I'm so confused!!! I don't know what to do! He's avoided me now. I hate my job. I been stuck at this place for over 10 yrs. I been looking for a new job put my resume out. There is no job out there. The women's I work with are so childish. They gossip about everyone. Nothing good comes out from there mouth. I have a sibling who does drugs doesn't know when to stop. I'm always getting yelled at by my father for the things my sibling does cause I'm the oldest. I just don't know what to do these days. So I'm going to runaway from my problems. I book a ticket to go away. I know when I get back my problems are still going to be there.

Not happy

I'm not happy,I have never been happy and I always trying to make others happy, seeing their smiles make me smile, but deep inside I just need someone to be there to make me smile once on a while. I found this on tumblr Venting is good for you

Money

I hate family members who fight about money. If you need money go out and earn it yourself. Money is not free! I work hard for my money and I'm going to spend it on myself. I buy what i want. To many greedy people out there!!

Mad

i'm going mad, i told myself. let me not be mad. By Ian McEwan When you get mad, it's the time you lose Hiroko Sakai I was mad at you cause you diss me! Now I'm not cause I don't stay mad for that long! I don't know why you mad? What have I done to you? Is it because I'm marry? I know you still mad? Thanks for dissing me again!! I'm always the sucker!!

Family sucks

U can't choose your family but u could choose your friends. I can't stand certain family member. They only think about money!

Smile

I have to keep a fake smile. Why? I work with people and clients. I try to keep a smile on my face. My co worker today said I look really mean today cause I do t smile. He told me u get wrinkles if u don't smile. I'm so unhappy I'm not paying attention what I'm doing at work. I have to many things on my mind. I need to vent cause sometimes you can't tell people everything. They will used it against you. I tell my best friend everything. She like a sister to me. These days she doesn't have time to talk. She had to work and take care of two kids. The only time I'm happy is when I see my god kids. I have a lot of friends but I can't talk to them like my best friend. I don't have many female friends mostly guy friends.

Life

Life sucks these days. I'm not happy with my life right now. So much things have been going on. I hate my job!! My marriage is falling apart. My sibling is doing drugs!! When my mom passed away everything felled apart. She was the life line to this family! My husband doesn't know how I feel these days he think nothing is wrong!!! I hardly see him cause he works in another state. I'm in another state. I want to start a family. Have kids at least 2. But that didn't happen yet. I told my husband when I do I would like to be a stay home mom. He argues that I should go to work. I'm trying to tell him the best part is to see your kids grow up. I don't want to miss any of that. I have a cowoker she cries cause her babysitter tells her on the phone her son is walking. She said she miss a lot of things. I don't wanna be her. It's sad when your babysitter see your kid grow up. Since I don't see my husband a lot. I met someone I am attracted to. Smh. Does marriage fall apart when u work in another state? Does marriage fall apart when you always arguing? We are not getting along these days when we do see other. I told my husband if we don't fix this problem I'm going to cheat it was meant as a joke. I wasn't attract to this person yet. Now this guy is avoided me cause he knows I'm married. I'm so stress out with all these problems. I was having health issues begin of the year. To many problems to fix. I want to cry but I have no tears!!

Marriage

My marriage is not working. When we do see other we are arguing about stupid little things. You know I haven't been happy for over a year now! When I tell you we got to talk. You tell me I'm ruining our day together. You do stupids things to get me pissed off. I don't know why? You work far away! You don't listen. To busy playing video games. Never think about the future!

I'm not happy

I'm not happy how things turn out.i hope we still could be friends!

Another day

Why do people try to convert you when you don't believe in there religion. I have a family member she been trying to drag me to church. She knows I'm a Buddhist. I don't want to convert unless I want to. I have a coworker she tells me my religion is garbage. Smh If I said that to her.she drag me to hr. you believe in what you want. Not what people want you to believe in.

Confused

I'm so confused! I just want to scream!!! I'm not mad! Just confused.

Life

When you get older u have more problems. I wish I was a kid again so I don't have to worry about so much things. My friends tell me i worry to much that's why I'm getting panic attacks. I can't seem let things go. Since my mom passed away I get really mad real fast. I have friends tell me I need to take a anger management class to calm down.

Should I ?

Should I text you? The last time I spoke to you. You were mad! If I text you would u reply back! If you don't then I feel really stupid for texting you! Why haven't u text or call?

Should I or not!!

Should I call! Should I text! If I do will u answer! I am so confused! What do I do?