What a Morning!

I got up early today cause I got a meeting today. The train was late wonderful. I got there late almost miss my meeting. I was running from the train station to get to my meeting almost fell on my face.  My stupid boss tells me if I'm taking my break or going to the bathroom we have to announce it. Omfg I don't want people to know if I have to used the bathroom. What is wrong with the people I'm working with. Do you know there are labor laws. I could go to the bathroom as much I want. You can't stop me.

I hope I'm not dissing anyone on this blog!

I blog cause I need it to get it out of my system. I can't tell my friends my problems. Some of my friends know part of my problems not all of it. I'm not here to diss anyone except my coworkers and my stepmother/inlaw. I keep everything bottle up inside me before cause I can't tell anyone. I was getting anxiety or panic attacks what ever you call it. I was getting it while I was driving I had to pull over. I thought I was having a heart attack. I end up at the hospital twice. I finally found out panic attack was similar to a heart attack. I have alot of stress in my life. Sometimes I can't tell a person how i feel in person. I could blog about how i feel. I'm a very sensitive person. I blog about race cause my race always get pick on. I'm tired Asian don't stand up for themselves. I also blog about drugs cause i have a brother who doesnt know when to stop using it! That's why I blog. I'm not here to diss anyone! 

Don't judge me!!!

It's a good day today!

It's a good day today. I got a offer to go back in the corporate world. It's only for 6 months. The money offer is great. I don't know if I'm going to take it yet. I have two weeks to think about it. The bad things about it is. I have to go back wearing a suit and working with a friend. I hate wearing a suit. Also it's only for 6 months its not long term position. I don't like the idea a friend is hooking me with this job. It's seems I own them in the future. I got two weeks to think about it.

I also took my first class driving a stick shift today. I did a horrible job. I might have messed the clutch up oops. I hope I do better next week. :)

I have to vent.

When I'm really pissed off about a friend or anything else. I put it on Facebook. I say things in my status. It's something not nice. I hear my stupid coworkers talking about it the next day. Saying I shouldn't say things like that on Facebook. I thought this coworker was my friend. Not cause she tell my supervisor what I say and did. To score brownie points. I need to delete or have separate accounts from co workers and friends. If I delete they will ask why I delete them. I have a client he found me on Fb he sent me a request. I don't know what to do? Do I add him or just ignore it. If I do ignore it will he approach me?

Lazy people!!

I work with lazy coworkers. The supervisor is really lazy she pretends to work. She pass all her work to other coworkers. The place was pack today. I have a 1 hour lunch break. She wanted me to take a 30 mins lunch break so I could go back to work. So she could slack off. I told her I can't. She was pissed off good you stupid bitch. I was pissed off last week. She call me on my cell phone telling me to take a half. Don't bother me on my lunch break. I have the right to take my 1 hr break. I have rights!!

People don't know you have rights to take your lunch break!
People don't know you have rights to take your 15 mins break!
People don't know you could take as many bathroom breaks!

This is the worst job I ever had!

Few good people!

There was a robbery in the neighborhood. My friend told me I got to be really careful cause I'm by myself. Wonderful more things to worry about. My friend would check up on me to see if I'm ok. There are very few good friends out there.  I have customers tell me they will wait for me until I closed up. That's nice of them. Choose who you make friends with.

I'm so tired today!

I'm really tired today I worked 13hrs today. I didn't get enough sleep. I have sleeping problems. I would wake up twice in the night. Sometimes I can't fall a sleep. I would get only 4 hrs of sleep a day. To many things on my mind shrug. I was so tired I fell a sleep on the chair. That was embarrassing. Lucky I wasn't drooling. On top of that I wasn't feeling well. It was a nice day today. But I was stuck working.

Read the pictures

Few good people in NYC!

There are few good people in NYC. When my car got stuck in the snow. There was so many people walking by. They just look at me like I'm playing in the snow with my car. Duh im not. It was a hour later this guy walk by asking do I need help finally someone was willing to help. I had a flat tire. I took all my equipment out to change a tire. Everybody walk by and just look. I'm noting standing there for nothing. There was two guys eating they didn't even speak English. They ask if they could help. Thank goodness they offer. I would have been standing there forever waiting. Sometimes it's good to help other people.

I can't take this job anymore!

I can't take this job anymore! I have female coworkers they are so lazy. I had to snap back at one today. Don't be talking behind my back that I did something wrong. Tell me in my face. You bitch! She trying to save her ass and rat me out. I don't care anymore.

I spoke to a lot of my coworkers they can't stand this company!
How do you stay at a company if they don't treat you right!

Don't judge me

I'm really a nice person. Sometimes I could be to nice and people take advantage. I usually forgive and forget when someone pissed me off. But lately I can't forgive and forget. I end up holding a grudges. My bff said after my mom passed away I have anger issues. I get pissed off really easy. Maybe there's to many things on my plate. If nothing goes right I get blamed for everything.

It was great to take the day off.

It was great to take the day off. I mean it was great to call out sick. I slept late . I went shopping. I didn't have to deal with the bitches at work. I did most of my errands. Back to work today.

My guy friend is a asshole.

My stupid guy friend call me up yesterday. He tells me he saw my Aunt today with her husband. He said how could she marry out of the race. I told him its none of his business. So my aunt marry out of the race. What's the big deal. I have a lot of family memebers marry out of the race. As long she happy with her husband. It doesn't matter what race you marry. He once told me Asians girls shouldn't go out or marry another race but a Asians man can. I told him to go fu$& himself. I haven't hang out with him for a long time cause he a racist. I can't stand people like him. He really pissed me off yesterday. What a stupid idiot!! That's why I don't hang out with him.

No time for myself!

I never have time for myself. To much things to do and dont have time for it. I'm always working. So I'm going to call out sick tomorrow. I know it's going to be really busy. Those lazy bitches at work are going to have to work really hard for there money tomorrow.

Creepy man was here yesterday!

While I was working Mr. Creepy man came in. He ask if I needed help. I told him I don't need any help. So he walk away. One hr later he came back and was bothering me again. He ask again do I need help. I told him no. He started screaming at me saying he always offer to help but I never needed.The other customer heard him. They told me to stay away from him. He's a wack job.

crazy man stay away from me!

You could choose your friends but not family!

My family members on my mom side are horrible. They only call when they need something. When I got the phone call today from one of my cousin. I ignore it. She finally left a MSG telling me she need to borrow money. I call her back and told her I don't have that kind of cash. She told me to ask my father. I told her my father doesn't have it either so I'm not going to bother asking him. I ask her what is it for she wouldn't tell me. I know for sure they want the money so they could gamble with it. The last time I spoke to her was six months asking for money again unbelievable. People always say blood is thicker then water. I don't think so not my family. My friends are more important then my other family members.

You could choose your friends.
You can't choose family.

I shouldn't have gone out tonight!

I'm hanging out with my friends tonight. I should of stay in. Why? They bought their other friends along. I don't like them. I hanged out with them before. They rude and they only think about what you have. They like to used people. I wouldn't call them my friends. I should of ask who was coming out tonight. I don't like people who used people for what they have!

Valentine Day's

It's a holiday they made up. So they could make money from everyone. If you notice everything goes up. If you buy flowers it's double. If you go to a restaurant it's triple. Valentine Day's  should be everyday with your special someone. It don't have to be on February 14 to celebrate with your special someone!

What is wrong with NYC mayor and chancellor?

Education is important. Why would you risk the lives of students going to school like today. It's horrible outside. They announce yesterday they weren't going to closed school but you didn't know the weather was going to be really bad today. They should of waited today to announce school closing! What is wrong with the chancellor she said the last storm mom's was shopping at Macy's. if they could go shopping then the kids could go to school. How does she know that. Maybe they weren't mom. They could of been tourist. Don't assume things. I bet the mayor and school chancellor had drivers pick them up from there home and they don't have to trek through the city today like normal people. Who has to get on the train to get to work! If they were worry the kids are missing to many school days extend the school year or have Saturday class to make it up. They are really stupid to risk the lives of the students!!

Education is important!

Live your life!

Live your life. Make a bucket list. Do things you want to do before you go. You don't know when it's your time. Go place you want to go. I'm saying this cause my mom always work. She never got the chance to go anywhere. She work while she was sick. Before she passed away she went to vist her mom. She got to see her mom before she left this world. I made a list. The places I want to go and do. Why? I was born with a liver disease. I found out in my twenty's. My parents never knew till I took a blood test. It runs in the family. If my mom caught it early. She will still be here. Asians family don't really go to the doctor cause they don't have insurance. If they don't feel well they still go to work. When I found out I was crying for over a week. Beginning of last year I wasn't feeling well. My side was hurting while I was driving. I ignore it for over a month. I was afraid to go to the doctor. I finally went. He told me it was swollen. He told me I can't eat anything raw. I just got to watch what I eat. I'm feeling better now! I want to have a baby but I hope my kid won't get it!
Live your life. Don't regret anything!!

Laugh!

Why can't Asians people speak up?

I don't understand why Asians people don't speak up. They get pick on and they don't do anything about it. I was in Chinatown one day. There was this white man he push an old lady on the floor.There was so many Asians people there. They just stood there and watch. I was so pissed off I started yelling at them. Telling them this could be your mom, aunt, grandma etc. They didn't even help her. I get picking on and people are surprised that I start cursing at them. I hope in the future Asians grows some guts to speak up!! I'm tired seeing Asians people get pick on.

I wanted to say Hi!

I wanted to say hi when I saw you. But I decided its better that I don't cause u might not say anything!

I don't care!

I really don't care anymore. He doesn't know when to grow the f up. I'm tired of all this bullshit. I don't know what to do anymore in this marriage?

Life is short!!

Live your life. You really don't know when it's your time. I just heard a neighbor I grew up just passed away. I saw him 2 weeks ago. Life is short. Never regret anything you do!!

Do guys tell there friends everything.

Yes they do. Guys like to brag about hooking up with girls. What they did with the girl. When I'm hanging out with my guy friends they brag. Omg they are worst then girls. They would sit there telling what base they hit. Girls do brag but they don't really brag about what base they got to. They brag about there expensive handbags there bf got them. Stupid things girls brag about.

Stress

I'm so stress. I have to much things on my mind. To many problems!!! I have a sibling who on drugs and doesn't know when to grow up! I hate my job!!! I wanted to tell my manager today FU I quit. I'm mad at you for dissing me. I hate my stepmother. She a thief. She stole my money from my wallet. I don't know how long she been doing it. I don't count my money in my wallet. I have a lock on my door. She broke into my room and stole my brand new handbag. What a bitch. I had to buy a new lock. I can't leaving anything around cause she will steal it and give it to her friends. When I walk into the house I have to leave my handbag and keys on me if I don't she will rummage through it. I'm living with a thief. Why can't these problems just go away. I'm having sleeping problems cause I'm stress out. I need a drink today.

If you knew!

If you knew I was thinking about you. If you knew I wanted to call you to see how you are. You probably will diss me again. Thank goodness you don't know how I feel about you. You might be cocky/vain about it or or not. If you knew!

Don't judge a person by there race!

People like to judge people by there race why?  I meet a lot of people they like to judge me by my race. They always assume I came from another country. I hate when they ask me how long have u been here. When I first started working for the company I work for now. There was this lady she ask me why I don't hang with my own kind. What kind of question is that. Do I have to hang with my own kind. No I don't. I hang with everyone. If I did hang with my own kind I don't fit in cause they call me abc (American born Chinese). We call the Chinese people who are not born here FOB  (fresh off the boat). I don't speak Chinese that well they know I was born here.  I hang out with anyone I could get along with. It doesn't matter what color or race you are!!!

Beautiful mind

Best friend

I have a best friend. We been friend since high school. She been there for me and I been there for her. I usually tell her everything. These days I can't. I told her about this guy I met. She knew before i even knew. She knows me to well. She yelled at me telling me saying I was going through a mid life crisis. She told me to fix my situation I am in. These days I can't tell her anything. She will yell at me if I told her I was thinking about that guy. She will yell if I told her I wanted to call. It sucks I can't talk to her about everything. I can't talk to anyone. I have to tell myself he have or had my number. Don't call or text to see how he doing. Why should I care? That's how I am I care about people. Even if I don't know the person that well.  I'm a really nice person if I want to be. I could be a bitch too.

Creepy man

The creepy man came in today. He was really freaking me out. I ignore him. If he needed help with something that was the only time I spoke to him. Since he was freaking me out I left and came back in 2 hrs. There's another creepy man. He gives me the chills. He always the last one on purpose. I'm afraid he will do something. I left a knife in my handbag and mace. What else could I do? I can't call the cops cause he hasn't done anything?

Men

What is with men these days? You have men who don't listen. They do what they want to do. its really annoying. If you wait for them to pick you up. They are always late. Why is that? One they are playing games or watching tv. They are not watching the clock. I'm the type I don't like waiting around. I got to many errands to do. You can't live with them and you can't live with out them. Why can't men listen?


Men-some are nice
Men-some are assholes
Men-some are players

Ready to get my tattoo!

I was planning to get my tattoo today. My friend he bought me to his tattoo artist in Brooklyn. When it was my turn I chicken out cause I saw all the blood. I ran out. I don't like to see blood. 

Maybe next time I will have guts to do it.