Chinese New Year

Happy New Year! The celebration will start from the New Year's Eve dinner with the family. The next day on New Year you have a family and friends come over for a big dinner feast. You get red envelops with money or you have to give to the kids who are not marry yet. There's so many different dishes we cook during the new year. To much food to eat and sweets. It's the year of the horse. 

Be careful horse people it's bad luck for you!!

I wanna call you to see how you doing?

I wanna call you to see how you are doing? I got the will not to call. You made me feel like a IDIOT!!!  I just wanna be a friend. It seems to me I don't exist to you.

Learning how to drive a stick.

Today I sign up for stick shift lesson. Finally I'm going to learn how to drive a stick shift.

Check one of my New Years resolution.

Does it matter if you are fat or skinny!

When you are fat. People ignore you. They talk about you. How you are so huge. Kids say mean things. Stop judging what they look like from the outside. It's the inside that counts the most. Growing up I was always skinny more like a tooth pick. My parents always tell me to eat more. I did eat but I wouldn't gain the weight. In college I started gaining weight a lot of weight. I had no time to work out. To busy studying and working at the same time. I ate so much junk and i was drinking a lot. When you drink you could put on weight. My brother's friends would say damn you are really healthy. They meant damn you are so freaking big. I didn't really care about my weight back then. I lost weight 2 yrs later. No more mean comments. When my mom passed away I started gaining weight back. This time I was huge. The biggest I ever been. I had to buy a whole set of work clothes. I was eat junk and drinking soda almost 10 bottles a day. Soda was my bf. I wasn't feeling well last yr  so I went to the doctor. Doctor told me to be careful of my sugar level. It was really high and my mom was diabetic. I cut the soda out. I lost a lot of weight. Soda is really bad! I drink ice tea no sugar now. I feel a lot healthy. The bad things is creepy men are bothering me these days. When you are slim you get to much attention. When you are fat you have no attention and fat jokes. Does it really matter how you look from the outside?

I need to go away!!

I need to go away. Maybe I need to take a 2 weeks vacation or longer. The longer I stay away the better it is. Why do I still think about you? I don't know why? I shouldn't cause you're an asshole for dissing me!!! Maybe it's a game you play with all the girls.You tell them one thing and you don't admit to it later. I shouldn't have told you I like you. When I met you I thought you were a cocky person. It turn out you weren't that cocky. I always try to avoided you. But you keep talking to me and I couldn't avoid you.  I should of try harder to avoid you.


Cindy

Are you happy?

Are you happy?

Men are dogs!!

Men are dogs. They like to charm their way into your pants. They only think with there pe$@!

Dog definition -a guy who hits and runs, as in he tells girls what they wanna hear to get in their panties and as soon as he gets the pussy, he's gone. unable to commit to one woman. DOG.

I know men brag to there boys about how they hook up with that girl and what base I got on with her. I thought females was bad. Men are worse then females!!!

Hmm you didn't do that I wonder why? Are you are real gentleman? I would never know!



By cl

Marriage or Divorce!

Marriage definition - the formal union of a man and women, typical recognize by law, by which they become husband and wife. I'm so unhappy. Im trying. He trying but it's not working. Divorce definition - the legal dessolution by court. I don't believe in divorce. But if it doesn't work out why stay in a marriage and be unhappy.

I really want to quit my job!

If I quit my job. I got no money coming in. That's not good. How will I pay for my bills? This job is killing me. My hair is falling out from all the stress I have. I'm not sleeping maybe I get 3 or 4 hrs of sleep a day. That's why I have bags under my eyes. My job is not the only problem I have. I'm thinking about starting my own business. But I'm afraid it won't work. My friends tell me if I don't try how will I know? My friends tell me to go for it but my husband is so negative. Telling me what happens if it doesn't work. I told him I go look for job. He worry I ask him for money. He doesn't have to say it you could tell on his face. When you are in a marriage you are suppose to support each other. He hasn't I make my own money pay for my own bills. I never ask him for a dime. Don't know what to do? It's a dead end job. Don't want to be here forever! I'm not making any money.

Racism at work!

There's racism at my job. If you are white you have a higher chance getting promoted. They hired a lot of Asians cause they are hard workers and they really don't complain about anything. My co-workers are mostly African American and Spanish in my department. I'm the only Asian girl except my mangager she Asian but she think she white. One of my co-worker was surprised they hired a African American lady for the mangager position in human resource. She told me since she been there for 20 years every hr manager was white. She also said the company had to hired a minority. It wouldn't look like they are be racist. The hr lady doesn't really call the shots. Someone tells her what to do. That's what a lot of co-workers had said. All the higher ups are white. The president and Vice President are white. The men and women on the boards are all white. There's not a single minorities. What does that tell you.

I'm not happy

I'm not happy!!! I can't fix it. You made me cry!

Racism

Why is there so much racism going on in this country! I notice it more since I live in nj half of the week and the other half in Brooklyn. I got call chink,gook. I got so mad I curse them out. They were surprised I speak English. I got more pissed cause they told me to go back to china. I told them f u and I said to them you don't own this country. You weren't the first white people here. It was the Native American. I also them us own china so much money. It will belong to china. They weren't happy about that. I travel out of the states a lot. I usually drive to Pennsylvania to go shopping and vist my friend. It's worst over there. I go to this store call cabelas I notice everyone in there was white. Me and my friends we stuck out like a sore thumb. I don't understand if you don't like Asians. Why do you eat Chinese food! I drove to Florida last year with my friends. There was 2 Asians and one white. I always tell him we are going to get lynch. He laughs cause he doesn't see it. He notice it when he walks behind us. Why is there still racism in the 21 century? Cindy Chen

Creepy Man

There was this customer in my family's business. I was talking to another customer. I know he was listening to our conversation. She was teaching me words in Spanish. He was taking his time to getting out. Whenever he comes in he creeps me out. He waited for the customer to leave. He ask me if I wanted to learn how to speak Punjab. I said I try but couldn't pick it up. He said maybe you didn't have a good teacher. I told him its a hard language. Then he ask me how to say pus$y in Chinese. I totally freak out. Omfg Why would you ask someone that. Was he crazy? I stop talking and waited at the door till he left. Creepy number 2 I have another customer he always ask me when do I work. I told him my hrs change. I didn't think he was weird at first. One Sunday morning I heard him saying hehehe she here. Talking to himself. He been doing that since the summer. He always sneaks up scared the shit of me. I try not to talk to him but he always comes up and try to have a conversation. Whenever he there I walk away from him. I try to stay away until he gone. What's wrong with these men? Do they need to take there medication?

I HATE MY JOB!!

I'm not having a good day today! Why cause I got my yearly review from my manager. She gave me nothing. I work really hard and I got nothing. I do at least 5 different position on the company. This company suck. She doesn't know what's going on she listen to my petty supervisor. I work with all females in my department. It's really bad when you work with all females. To much gossip going around. They get jealous if you have something and they don't. They know when you have new shoes,handbags etc. I don't care. If I want something. I'm going to earn my money and get it for myself. Why are women bitches? The females I work with are so lazy. They type with a pen cause they don't want to mess up their fake nails. I'm going to have take my time and do what they do. It's seems like if I do what they do you get a raise. It's so much better working with male co-workers. You don't have 12 females Pms every month.

I just want to be happy

I just want to be happy but it's not going to happen since I have so much stress going on.

I think I should go on vacation again to be stress free.

My boss is a stupid bitch!

My boss is a stupid bitch!!! I wasn't feeling well this morning. So I was running late today. She didn't freaking care. She was lucky I made it to work. She very petty and cady bitch!!

chinga tu madre

Racism

Today I saw these cops being a asshole. There was 3 middle age old man sitting at the corner just chit chatting like they do everyday. They weren't doing anything wrong. These cops pull up to them cause they are different nationality. They ask them for there ids to see if they were legal here. I see this everyday racism. I can't stand it anymore. People always think Asian people don't speak English! These kids was making comments today he was saying Ching Chong. I got so annoyed at him. I told him that's not nice.He started asking question. What's the difference between Chinese take out and real Chinese food. I told him Chinese take out food it's not the same food we eat at home. It's like fast food. I told him if the Chinese people sold food what we eat at home. You not gonna like it. I'm tired people thinking Asians don't speak English. Some Asians don't stand up for themselves when they get pick on. They just keep there mouth shut. I don't I speak my damn mind if you say something stupid to me.

So upset today!

I found out one of my friend is expecting again. I'm upset cause I still didn't get pregnant yet. I'm happy for her she having another addition to her family. I'm going to be to old to have one if it doesn't happen any time soon.Family and friends don't know we are having problems in our marriage. If they do they will tell me not to get pregnant till u fix your marriage. Is it me who has the problem that's why I can't get pregnant or is it my husband. I can't help being upset nothing going right in my life.

Do not wake any women from there sleep !

I found this online.

My goals for 2014!

My goals for 2014! 1. Learn how to speak Spanish. First Spanish word comer Merida. My friend had to teach me a bad word. 2. Go back to school. 3. Stop smoking (maybe) 4. Learn how to drive stick shift. 5. Go on vacation. 6. Look for a new job or start a business. 7. Lose weight (have a flat stomach by the summer) 8. Buy my own place to live. 9. Learn to ignore people who talks behind your back. 10.Get a tattoo. 11.Get Rid yourself of “frenemies.” 12.Learn to control my anger. 13.Learn to work slower at work.( people at my job don't work. When I work fast I'm doing there job) 14.Try to have a baby!